"Chungking Express" is one of my favorite movies. Kim Sing-Moo loves pineapple so much that he thinks the pineapple cans are just like his love: they will expire on a certain day. I don't think true love will expire. Love is life long; it is not love if it expires.

 

Happiness, as another emotional feeling, however, expires. Tradiational Chinese attitude towards life is to taste the bitter part first and then wait for the sweet part. People are supposed to work hard when they are young and then enjoy life after they have everything. This attitude is especially obvious among guys: they are planning to work hard on their career and girls will come automatically after they achieve something. We were told storied since young to educate us to study hard, and "enjoyment" is considered to be negative and even evil.

 

One of my friends once told me something that is probably a little different from this attitude, which I thought was really impressive. He said, an old man has nothing but memory. Imagin an old man lying in bed reminiscing, what would he tell his grandchildren? How hard he work at school when he was 17 years old? Would he be pround of studying in the library on his 20 year old birthday? At least in movies, what happens was an old man talking about his love stories, or crazy things he did when he was young.

 

Life is formed by countless "nows". Claiming to enjoy in the future, too many people are just looking forward to  college when in high school, looking forward to work when in college, and looking forward to getting wealthy when working... only to find they are not young any more when they are thirty something.  Where is "the future"? Will it come at all? The worse thing is that things change as time goes by. You lose interest in the things you felt passionate about before. I remember there is a cartoon series that I liked a lot when I was a kid. My parents wanted me to study so they told me to "watch it later when you have time". After suffering from this temptation, I tried to make myself feel better by telling me: I will watch it as much as I can when I have time!! What happened after that? Of cource I didn't like it any more. And, I have never "had time" to.

There are things that will never happen again. My mother told me she bought a lot of very nice little clothes for me when I was in kindergarten. Kids at that age grow everyday and they need new clothes after a few months. My family was not very wealthy, so people got curious. They asked my mother: what don't you just use the old clothes from your relatives? My mother said, just because she won't look the same after a few years, it is worthwhile to dress her up now. Thanks to my mother, I was so pround when I showed off my new clothes in fround of my little friends.

 

I am a rebellious yet timid person, as commented by Sarasvati. I read tons of comic books in elementary school, tons of novels in middle school (of course under my big text book or inside my drawer); in high school... I daydreamed a lot, chatted a lot, and got depressed a lot, which serves as a good mental preparation for my subconsciously rebellion in college. After going to college, I had fun in student organizations, felt in "love" with a guy I met online and had never seen in person, and felt in "love" at first sight with an art school student. I met some "eccentric" friends who had significant impact on me. I loved and was loved by a lot of people, still feeling painfully isolated and lonely. I could hate myself for no reason, yet love myself for no reason. I got familiar with different types of music, and understood human's weaknesses from their attitude towards music. I realized how cruel life could be, and how powerful a person could be. Finally, I survived from the test of GRE, and realized my great transition when I found myself so calm seeing the scores. The only regret I might have is that I didn't feel the proudness of an economics major, but the good thing is that I benefited from the rationality and insightfulness of an economics student.

 

I used to regret a lot how much time I have wasted in my past life. Thanks to Star who talked me that he actually envy me in that I experienced what I could at those ages, now I am so happy about my past that I am kind of proud when I tell people my stories.

 

Anyway it has a lot to do with one's attitude. The question you need to ask yourself before making any decision is that "what is the most important thing(s) in my life?" If achievement in career or the perception of achieving something is much more important for you than the small details in life, you might not care too much about what I have said above.

 

I don't think I can answer this question myself. But like many other things in life, we can use one word as a generic answer to this question: balance. What we need/want to do is to balance the present happiness and future development, trying not to ruin career or expire happiness. See, the oriental philosophy is the universal truth!

 

(Now I am writing this stuff, am I getting old?)